Wild Child

Wild Child

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Scope This...

You feel like I'm scoping you out but in reality I'm being scoped by you, I can feel it.  Don't try to act innocent,  I'm smarter then you think. The power of the female psyche is intense and intuitive when it comes to males...yes it is.  Having to date again is just as interesting as it is frustrating. Every time I don't listen to my intuition, but instead follow my brain, I regret it and want to kick myself in the ass every time! Can we just think before we act? Maybe us ladies can think a little less and just act. Si? Oui? ja? vai? Was that a yes? Great! As long as we're trying. Men, your such visual creatures genetically, I can't be mad at you. Some of you have learned some techniques that allow you to be more discreet in your scoping but we still know your checking us out because we were checking you out long before you got wind of our perfume in the room.  Sometimes we want the same thing but can't seem to arrive there together. For example, men need a place to have sex while women need a reason. So while you're thinking...DAMN!!! I gotta have her and your mind is in the where and when. We're thinking DAMN!!! He's cute but...I don't know, does he really like me? Will he call me after? Will he still respect me? STOP...let's just take a chill pill and get over it. It's not that serious people. Stop over thinking it. Take each individual and each situation and deal with it uniquely. Scope this...scoping gets you know where. Put your intentions out there and you'll be surprised at the response you just might get versus...what the f*ck you looking at? LOL...
-Liz

Cop Out...



"Exclusively...Jill Scott"

So...this song makes me ask the question, why be in a monogamous relationship?
What makes a partner veer off to another sexual partner? What's the point?
Let me ask it again...What's the point? Variety is the spice of life? Cop out, if you ask me. Then blatantly you are not ready for commitment or there is some deep underlying issue that your in denial about as it pertains to your partner or yourself for that matter. Well, obviously something is missing. Either the love is gone, the passion and excitement are gone, real satisfaction/gratification sexually are gone, attraction is gone, your partner doesn't get you, understand you, read you well, either one or both aren't vocal, aren't upfront, aren't dealing with it, acknowledging it,  just plain  oblivious or they are just cold hearted self serving deceitful individuals.
Dig deep...something was there, something beautiful, something special for you both to connect.
Figure it out, talk it out, work it out,  move forward or it's time to disconnect.
I understand about financial responsibilities or family responsibilities and the many factors that can force people to stay together. I get it, trust me.

What I don't get... is the point! If there are no legal ties as in a marriage and you have the freedom to choose, then why choose a lie for a relationship then the truth as it is. Don't you both deserve that?
Either way its worth it, you salvage a relationship or you salvage yourself.
Food for thought...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

She to Rose...Eye to Petal...

We greet her lovingly...the Spring. She warms us a bit. Gives us rays of sun to brighten our day. Reminds us of what beauty looks like. Gives us blossoms to enjoy. Sheds perfume in the air for us to smell. Lifts our spirits with hope and encourages the desire for love. Thus my ode to the rose:  
What's in a name that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,
A rose is a rose is a rose,
A rose in disguise,
A rose has a face, 
A wilted rose, 
Fragile bud, 
It blooms in my heart, 
Lips of a rose, 
Petals of passion, 
Sweet as a rose, 
The rose that grows, 
Stop and smell the roses,
Taste my rose, 
Pretty as a rose,
Time brings roses,
Dainty as a rose,
The optimist sees the rose and not it's thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns oblivious to the rose.
Okay, so I made some up too : ) ... 
Happy Spring chickadees...
-Liz

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Choose a favorite Book Cover 1-5


Soon to be published.
Would love to know what appeals to you.
Thanks for your input, suggestions and feedback.
I appreciate it.
-Liz

For the lovers...


Once a year we take Valentine's day and celebrate with a lover in our life.  Love should be celebrated every day of our life...every day!!! Less is more... a wink, a kiss, a hug, a phone call or nowadays...a text, an "I love you", an "I adore you", an "I Miss you", an "I'm thinking of you", an "Can't wait to see you", etc etc etc. A single rose on a random day, a card that says I love you, a poem you write, a sexy pic that shows you want him or her, a foot rub...oh man, I could go on and on. So simple yet so difficult for us to do this. Why is that? Because we we get caught up in ourselves...in our jobs...in our kids...in chores...in errands. Catch up and get caught up in the love. I'm sure you're thinking, this woman seems focused on love and sex and romance. Damn straight!!! Love makes the world go round literally and figuratively. Anyone who has really loved and has lost love understands what it means to have lived on both sides of the fence. If you asked them...they would choose the life with the love even if it was more complicated or  difficult then a life without it. The grass is not always greener, it just appears that way.
Get busy and mow your own damn lawn!!! ...
-Liz

Show the Ones You Love How They Matter...

Show the ones you love how they matter…
A look…
A kiss…
A hug…
A word…
A gesture…
Day in and day out we go through our routines…
Sometimes forgetting what’s most important…
Don’t miss that chance to have said or done what you feel in your heart…
To those closest to your inner soul…
Grasp each moment and make the most of it…

Monday, March 28, 2011

Are you waiting on me?...


Not a good idea....at all! Don't you know time waits on no one? Keep it moving like a rolling stone. We don't want undesirable stagnation! The kind that breaks us down, holds us back and doesn't allow us to grow.  Agility is key! Don't be so swift either, the goal is not to bypass the important things in life.  Stand firm in one's knowledge, conviction and spirituality under all circumstances. Excel in making your life and self better. Be resilient. A little gathered moss is a good thing...means you're going at the right pace and important milestones are being accomplished.  Of course if you need me, you can take a short pause and I'll catch up to you my friend. I promise!!!
-Liz




Sunday, March 27, 2011

Men are Martians...


Ughhh...more like monsters sometimes!!! You men just frustrate the hell out of me!!! So men are from Mars and women from Venus...we all got that piece right? Both sexes feel that we can't live with or without each other right? The one thing I've learned, and understood early on is that when you meet a man, the way he is will be the way he is...always. He'll grow and change with time, naturally as we all do and must. His core being is the makeup of what makes him tick. We are a product of our environment and that's why there is so much variety in life. Ladies... do not think you're going to change him, you are completely kidding yourselves. If you really want to change him that much, then what the hell are you doing with him to begin with? It will take a lot more then nagging, bending, demanding and controlling him to be the way you want. So just accept them for what and how they are. I like that men are different then us; they look it, they act it, they think different and that makes them...them! That's why we are so attracted to them. However...you all knew this was coming! However, their simplicity can make them so simple minded that they just don't get us. It's when they simply don't do, the simple things that they complicate everything more and make it more difficult for us women to understand you. Like... call when you say you're going to call or when you make plans stick to those plans or if you reach out to someone and you get a response don't ignore the response or if you start a conversation don't just suddenly drop out of it, you're a part of it. I know... we women are  complicated enough for both sexes! I agree. I love my green martians...can you just reign it in a few light years so we can all be on the same telepathic wave length?
-Liz

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Past Bedtime...

Yeah I know...sometimes I'm up until ridiculous hours. I can run on 5 hours of sleep. Rather not but if I have to, I do what I gotta do when I can't sleep. Restless because there's a lot on my mind, wired from the day, emotions running through me like a wild fire out of control or it can be a simple as a really long talk with a good friend. You know...you get that phone call and you're in bed relaxing. It's dark and you're really comfy but not quite sleepy. You chat for endless hours, where the time goes who knows but you're laughing, talking about nonsense and talking about deep serious things in life. I enjoy those late night talks, they're always the best ones. No interruptions, we're both trying to do the same thing which is fall asleep at some point. We're both relaxed so it's uninhibited, natural and we can just say what's on our mind because we're too damned tired to give a shit. My best girl, my partner in crime...talking about juicy men tidbits can't live with or without them. My best guy, someone I adore...talking about juicy tidbits, period! Imagine a friendless life...how sad that would be? If you haven't talked with a good friend in awhile...it's time you reached out and stop making excuses. GUILTY!!! I got to go now, have some phone calls to make. Cya...
-Liz 

You Caught Me...


I can't believe you caught me staring!!! I was trying to be discreet. I'm so embarrassed. I have to be honest I just couldn't help myself. Something about you...just got my attention, you know? Lots of people here and it's so crowded but YOU stood out. The music is loud but the minute I laid my eyes on you the room went quiet. All I heard were gentle sounds and all distractions disappeared. As you returned my gaze and walked towards me...I watched your body move, it was like prolonged foreplay. I became excited that I would be near you soon. Temporarily distracted by a hustler, he keeps on talking but it's to deaf ears. I look at him, nod my head and walk away. I move in your direction to meet you half way...my body feels warm from your gaze on my body. I can feel my hips sway from the high heels I'm wearing. Any second now. I can smell your musky cologne in the air and it intoxicates me, my heart beat speeds up. "Hi, pretty girl. You certainly got my attention"... I smile, "Hi there, I'm Caramel"... He gently grabs my elbow to guide me away from the chaos.
Men are bounteous creatures as women are beautiful...
-Liz ; )

Friday, March 25, 2011

Believe in the fact that you...

Believe in the fact that you guide the direction of your life…
People discuss fate and destiny…
They are intertwined off your actions and decisions…
Nothing is completely left to luck and chance…
Those with true success in life; whether it is money or power or love or family…
Have earned it through a series of choices…
Look not for the easy route…
For the true character of a person is determined by their willingness’ to put effort into that which sometimes is most difficult…
The end result being that which is most rewarding…
-Liz

In the spirit...

No, I'm not going to grandma's house? You the big bad wolf? Sure...we can be friends. When I'm in a good place; you will find no one more loving, giving, tender, generous, funny, silly and quite playful as me.  I will wreak havoc...distracting you, demanding attention from you, pampering you, tickling you, talking your ear off and basically you'll be all mine until you can't handle me anymore. Don't believe me? Ask my mother, father, brothers, cousins, friends, kids, co-workers...actually don't ask, they may feed you too much information that will have you one up on me!!! LOL... Balance is so important to me. I'm always looking to keep those scales level between my love for my work, love for my friends and love for my man. It's actually been the running joke in my family, how I can't even relax on a day off cause I have stuff to do. That's the old me though, yep I've turned over a new leaf and it's a beautiful bright lovely green!!! Certainly I don't claim to be an expert but as a sensitive soul, I do take things to heart. Your needs, your happiness matter to me as much as mine. For the most part I live by that creed and granted I have opportunity, who doesn't? My goal is to figure out how to keep that OOMPH 95% of the time, 100% is just not realistic and who needs to set themselves up for failure. Got zeal? I'll be your bestest friend ; ).  Birds of a feather, either linger with the same mindset or better. Happy flying my peeps...
-Liz

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hey you...

Hey you? Yeah you!!! How you doing??? I'm doing gooood!!! I what? I fill my space so beautifully? Are you trying to make me blush? I don't blush you know. I'm so flattered, you make me feel beautiful!!
You probably say that to all the girls. You don't? Just me cause I'm special...(giggle giggle, batting my lashes as I look up at him). Jeez, I have knots in my stomach. My hands are sweaty. Why am I so nervous? I'm a grown ass woman!!! This is crazy...what's this feeling I have? Excitement?...yeah. Attraction?...yeah. Lust?...yeah. Fear?...yeah. Happiness?...yeah. Confusion?...yeah. Guilt?...yeah. Anger?...yeah. Mistrust?...yeah. Doubt?...yeah. Freedom?...yeah. Resentment?...yeah. All of the above?...yeah, hell yeah!!! I think you got my point. We've all been there and done that. Can I just have one feeling at a time please? And supersize it so I'm not confused!!! Starting over...phew, not an easy task. Feelings, deal with them as they come or don't come. It is what it is? Right? Easier said then done, but feeling alive is some good sh*t! Heart's a pumping, lungs breathing, minds thinking and creative juices are flowing. It's odd to sometimes feel like a teenager again, especially in new friendships. So it's best we just go with the flow and take each day in stride. Follow your heart. I do believe that things happen for a reason. Will you see that your glass is half full?...
-Liz

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

You Just Never Know...

For the New Yorkers...it is spring? Come on now!!! Snow flurries today??? LOL...thought maybe I'd have to pull out my parka. Anyway, it reminds me of the fact that you just never know...anything could happen at any moment. Will you be prepared for it when it does? You ask yourself, "how will I be prepared if I don't know it's coming?" Easy answer, it's all in your mindset. I'm an avid To Do List maker;  I have to be organized to be productive and I don't like procrastinating. I'd get riled up when I've planned out my day and unexpected things would happen, but such is life.  I no longer live by that creed, I still make lists but I do what's humanly possible and just deal with things as they come. If I can control the flow, then I pick the direction my boat will go and let the sails ride the wind. Attitude has so much impact on every aspect of your life. I believe that positivity breed's positivity, which means people are more receptive to you, supportive of you and many more doors will open for you. You WILL see; that which you could not, when your mind was tarnished by negativity...
-Liz

Head in the clouds...

But I got my feet on the ground... days like this I don't know what to do with myself. I love rainy days.  It's a crying shame so many people dislike the rain, I guess it makes them feel sullen. For me it feels like a soothing hot shower, calming and relaxing. The shades and shadows engulf me with a warm, gentle, loving feeling. My mind wants to shut down and float with the grey sea of clouds that blanket the sky.  My heart wants to connect with another soul; mostly because it feels like the world has shut down and everything slows down like a melancholy melody. It means I have no distractions, you have no distractions...you can start the chase, I'll let you win and with fuel we can take flight. When the showers stop and the fog dissipates, what will be  awaiting us are the translucent hues of the pipe dreams of this life.  Our momentary absence from the world gone unnoticed while covertly concealed within our secret bubble showering each other with attention. That's how you spend a rainy day! Okay, so I was a little poetic but that's how it makes me feel...for real!!! Next time it rains, try to look at it in a different light and see how it makes you feel...
Wishing the Sweetest  drizzle...
-Liz

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Find Contentment in Every Day...

Find contentment in every day…
For, we cannot control how long we will exist in this world…
Enjoy each moment as if it may be your last…
Love those in your life with passion…
Do what you do with pride…
And when you lay your head on your pillow at night…
You will feel at peace…

WTF?!?!?!

WTF is exactly right!!! Sometimes I got a trillion and one questions and no answers...What's up with that? This is where my sarcastic side kicks in. Is she serious or is she kidding?  Boy oh boy...I can run with the best of them! Probably lead a gang of them. As much as I've learned to relax and take things in stride as I get older. I've also noticed my zero tolerance for bullshit, nonsense and stupidity!!! To each his own, but you reap what you sow...until what you say or do impacts the rest of us...okay, I also mean me directly. You best be prepared to go at it!!! When stupidity is a sufficient explanation there is no need to have recourse to any other...but an intelligent person, absolutely inexcusable!  You know the drill...FIX YOUR FACE!!! Another side of me, brought to you by me... ; ) -Liz

Monday, March 21, 2011

Can I kiss you again?

I tend to pucker a lot....I know, bad right??? People might get the wrong idea. I rather pucker then smile...and I'm always being told to smile more, especially in photos. Maybe in the back of my mind it has to do with the fact that I love kissing. I know what I missed the most since I've been alone is just hugging and cuddling. I know there are great health benefits to it. All I care about are the emotional benefits! A warm body, that scent that belongs to him, skin to skin contact...Noooo not sex, just the physical bond. The...mannnn you make me feel so good, so special, so safe and I don't want it to end feeling! Yeah, I've been a little deprived. If the hugging is so good then the kisses are even better. I could sit here and tell you about the many different kisses under the moon...I mean sun, the first one is better! Imagine...relaxing, cuddling and doing nothing for hours...except that. Soft warm tender kisses in between on a lazy day. No? You can't imagine that? Why not? Well...appreciate who you have by your side. Take the time to do what's important. Paper chasing never stops...and it means nothing when you're alone.  Time lost can never be gained. Cherish your moments. You never know what tomorrow brings you...
-Liz



Sunday, March 20, 2011

Wild One...

Wild one....What happens to a free spirit that was never allowed to be free? I don't know but I'll fill you in...in time. Why are artists so unique? What makes them tick? Is it the right side of the brain??? ; ) Definitely something there is different and I'm sure there are lots of theories on it, which I'm not going into. I'm definitely driven by love, lust, passion, humor, sadness, anger, fear and those intangibles that to me are quite tangible indeed in their own right.  I recall, as children that is what drove us. What else did we have? Young, inexperienced it was all instincts and feelings, our knowledge was minimal.  We lost sight of that through the years. With age comes education, lessons learned, maturity, common sense, intelligence and hopefully wisdom. After that it's wrap, the ability to reason takes over and everything we decide comes from the mind after we analyzed it to death. It's my biggest obstacle I'd say...because what my heart wants it wants. Yet I fought it until it almost destroyed the precious heart that beats within me. Of course... even I wanted to be a full blown wild child now,  I think my life lessons would interfere a little and take it down a few notches. Oh well, ces't la vie, non? Or...hahaha; we shall see where my heart leads me, is all I can say...
-Liz

"My Ginger Snap"

Tell me why I go back for more
The addiction is more then I can stand
I am obsessed with my fiery red head
Highly addictive to all my senses
She makes my love for her fulfilling
The nutmeg to my biscuit
Igniting the flames within me
I am consumed with her buttery complexion
Losing self-control over myself
She makes my desire for her more tempting
Her flavor always melts in my mouth
In my impatience of my longing
The urge takes over me
I reach to grab her greedily
Fierce eyes gazing back at me with contempt
Twice baked anger proving to be crispy
Making me a peppery nut
Enslaved to her highly addictive nature
I ignore the caution alerted to my mind
Instinctively following my heart
For the love I carry for my sweet molasses
Reaching in closer to inhale her robust aroma
I take one quick aggressive bite
Overwhelmed with the smoothness of her form
Slowly enjoying the texture of her essence
Her sugary sweetness all I’ll ever desire
I close my eyes to my surroundings
Completely engrossed and self-absorbed
She snaps back with her intense heat
Burning me for my languorous will power
Disgusted with my sloth
Lamenting my own deplorable behavior
I hang my head in defeat
A moment later an epiphany in my eye
I look up with a gleam
Realizing there will never be a grievous heartbreak
For there is nothing inartificial about my Ginger
She knows my love runs deep
My addiction to her deeper
Cravings never subsiding everlasting
For what goes better with sugar?
Then spice…

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Fragile Bud...

What it is, what it is, what it is...see me, want me, give me, touch me, feed me, fuck me, love me, touch me ...this whole world is cold and ugly, all we are is low and lovely- Mos Def.  A favorite line in one of his songs. I acknowledge that I am delicate, sensitive and very much breakable. I denied that to myself for a long time. Didn't give myself room to breathe, to relax, to enjoy the little things. Yes, like to smell the roses. When we do that we begin to awaken to hope, creativity, balance, harmony, laughter and love. I'm very much appreciative of those in my life who embraced me with all my faults regardless and loved me for me. I give my all to the those I care for when I am capable, when I have it within me to give back. For the times I couldn't I hope that I will be forgiven for being fallible and weak at times, part of the human condition. With all my heart...
-Liz

Friday, March 18, 2011

Digging out...

In retrospect I see clearly now how we can bury ourselves deep into oblivion. Denying the real issues that are so blatantly obvious to others, especially family and friends.  We make excuses, ignore the signs, overlook the problems and turn our back on ourselves. Probably because we don't want to take ownership on how we contributed to the issues at hand. You're the only person that has to look at yourself every day in the mirror. Can you live with not owning your own words, behaviors and actions? No one else has to but you. The minute you accept feedback for what it is...a gift and honestly own it then you can change it, whatever IT is. People are more accepting of those who admit their faults and mistakes and are more likely to forgive you then those who deny it. The process can then begin, to dig out of that hole we're living in and wake up from hibernation. Sleep in the dark or live in the sunshine...
-Liz

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Shedding the layers...

This was the first time in a long time that I felt liberated again. Slowly but surely as I travel forward towards my new destiny I leave behind a piece of luggage or two or three. They say mind over matter...I say heart over mind then matter. We are our own worst critics. I can think of some horrible things that have been said or done to me in my life but I can certainly top any of those things with the self bashing severe bruises I've given myself. We each deserve to live the best life we can. We deserve the undivided and most intense love offered to us.  We deserve the fruits of our honest labor. We deserve, we deserve, we deserve it all! Here is where it gets tricky...it's hard and it's easy. Depends on you; you can either say that's easy I am this...I want this...I'm passionate about this... and the doing/accomplishing may be the difficult part or you can say I'm not sure what I want...I'm not sure what I should do...I'm not sure where my talents lie... and once you figure that out the doing/accomplishing may be the easy part. Point being...be true to yourself first and foremost. Be ready to drive that long highway to the end destination no matter what it takes and then all the other pieces of your puzzle will fall into place. All the best...
-Liz

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wanton...

Turn me inside out, right side up, upside down...your style, your smile, you beguile and I'm in denial...I got a crush on you, can I be your Lily of the Nile? When you look into my eyes, what do you see??? Fire in my eyes...or lust in my eyes? A warning...or an invitation? Tell me what you see? Want to talk to you. Want to comfort you. Want to hold you. Want to surrender myself to you. Don't know what to tell you...You say, no need to worry . Does that mean you'll come in a hurry?  You ask, why did your guy leave you in pain? He must be insane? I say again, I don't know what to tell you...my love is one in a million. I am intense. I have conflict. I have passion. I have peace.  I have fire in my blood. I have love in my veins. All I have is me...to offer you. Come in close to me...closer...no, even closer. I want to whisper a secret in your ear....yes, just like that! Sometimes, trouble hits you hard and fast; leaving you weak in the knees, raised hairs on the back of your neck, delirious... like from the touch of a lover.  I know you think I'm sweet like honey but I'm quick like a flickering flame and burn just as intensely. Hell hath no fury...
; ) Liz

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Brikhaus...

Hello there...Mighty Mighty!!! (That's me...She's a Brikhauusss!) LOL. Pause....take a breath and go for yours! That's what the Brikhaus is trying to do. One brick at a time, layering on that solid foundation so no huffing and puffing can bring me down.  Amazing what positive reaffirming self-talk can do for you.  I occasionally feel a crack form in that foundation and I go back and re-cement it before the damage kicks in. There's no way in hell I'm not taking that second chance and making it better. The first part of my life has been terrific even if my ex and I parted ways. Don't believe in regrets, what's the point? Everything I've done, seen and experienced has evolved me into the person I am. Who's to say that what's to come won't be even better? Who? I challenge you...
-Liz

Monday, March 14, 2011

Do You Really See Me?

Do you REALLY see me? Do you feel and understand my heart for what it really is? Do you sense and comprehend what moves my soul? Do you connect and grasp with what my mind offers? Do you read my words and apprehend my meaning? Do you listen when I speak? Clearly and lucidly know what I say comes from me freely and honestly? More often then not we do not really see individuals for what they are...which is truly sad and disheartening. I was in a deep pensive state the day I took this. Many strong emotions were running through me. I'm not going to tell you what emotion was strongest but I do know everyone will look at this at read it different. Human beings have this innate nature to be instinctual yet we very rarely follow them.  If we just followed them and improved our communication with each other we could resolve so much in our lives. The most important factor being listening skills, understanding what's being said to you, respecting the other person's feelings and sharing your own in a manner that will be reciprocated equally.  We create our own misery believe it or not. Choose your influence wisely...
-Liz

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Lift Me Up...

My life is upside down...literally and figuratively. With a void in my life I don't reach out anymore for others although I probably should, especially when I need them. I'm such a proud person in the sense that I set very high standards for myself. Failure is not an option. So my self-esteem went down the drain when my ex and I broke off. WOW, I failed huge!!! Of course it takes two to make and break a marriage and by no means did I put it fully on myself. In my previous career I made mistakes, had pitfalls, tripped  plenty of times...took many steps back to step forward again and succeed. That's how we grow and learn, the learning never stops! I went through a long period of solitude. Many interpreted it as sulking, holding on to him, festering in toxic sewage as well as not wanting to move forward. Inwardly, I laughed at all of these things. They didn't get it at all. For the first time in my life since I was a teenager I was doing me...nurturing myself back to full health in all aspects so to speak. All I needed was time.  I still need time. I had so much stuff pent up inside for so long I exploded, spending endless hours burning off restless energy. I'd work out, write and sculpt for hours. Lost track of time. Lost my appetite except that I was hungry for my art, hungry to express myself and especially hungry for loving ; ).   I'm a strong woman you have no idea...but sometimes I just don't want to be. So what I'm saying is...if you reach out your arm to me and lift me up, I just may grab your hand for support...
-Liz

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Yummmmy...

Yeah....hmmmmm...about that...I WAS  having really yummy thoughts, I won't deny it.  It's human nature to be  sensual, sexual, passionate, carnal and I could go on with a list of words. I'm not ashamed, it's innate in us. I don't believe in double standards...man or woman; mind, body and soul we must be true to our hearts. I do write erotic stories, so I have to have some imagination, insight, drive, motivation and yes even appetite. Sometimes when I write it's because I've been inspired; a man I was drawn to,  a scent of a cologne that intoxicated me, a song I listened to, a scene from a movie that was intense, a memory, the way a man made me feel, a kiss, the weather, a party, a beautiful dress and a sexy pair of high heel shoes. Some came naturally and sometimes I had to work towards it. I didn't one day just say..."I think I'll write short stories about sex". I just started writing and what came through is what I was meant to write. We're all influenced... I believe we are a product of our environment. Doesn't matter what the factors or reasons, writers don't choose what they write about. They're driven by a passion that drives them, like an artist that paints or sculpts or a musician. If years ago someone would have said I'd be doing this, I would have shrugged it off. Here I am...sharing myself with you in a photo, in stories, in poems and in life. I hope it's not all for naught.
-Liz

Friday, March 11, 2011

Turmoil...


I have been numb for a long time just going through the motions of living. Although to me it hasn't felt like living. I was doing...What? I don't know, don't remember much. My points of reference during this meaningless grey cloud are my photos, art, sculptures and stories. Of course I was really doing something! I have been strong for my family, friends and myself. To prove that even through turmoil one can keep composure, have dignity, be even keeled and do the right thing. This roller coaster of emotions was draining; happy one day, angry the next, crying the next and confused the next. Am I coming? Am I going? Am I staying? No matter...I kept it all private and to myself, until most recently. What doesn't break you makes you stronger, right? The clouds are giving way to clear skies...so it's all good.
-Liz

I am a Goddess...


Well...probably better to say I feel like a Goddess. Although I believe every woman is a Goddess in her own right. I started taking self-portraits as a healing process after my marriage failed. That is when the artistic process once again started for me. I Have many talents but had not tapped into them since young adulthood. Forced to dig deep within myself for answers to my life; one day thoughts, feelings, ideas, visions and images just started pouring out of me. Somehow I wanted to capture moments of this metamorphosis in my photos...in my sculptures...in my art. My photos by no means are of high caliber, I don't claim them to be. Granted  I'm working on evolving to high end cameras so I can learn and grow in that art. And...sure my ego was damaged from my separation but that was only a small part of why I did this. I needed to reaffirm for myself, by myself that I indeed was special in my own right and had much to offer the world and all those in my life. I am like any other person you know...the only difference is I am putting myself out there to share my heartache, my trials and tribulations. It has been hard for me to share my personal private self and it continues to be liberating. Where that will take me I have no idea but I hope the trip is FANTASTIC!!!
-Liz

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I am Deeper then the Surface... Part 2

“A spirit too needs fuel”- Ayn Rand
A spirit too needs fuel…
A spirit too needs fuel…
Just think about that…
So simple and so true…
I realize that the void in my life was just that…
My heart was so full of love…
Yet I was slowly dying somehow…
I was deeply miserable…
Yet I could not explain it to anyone…
We each are meant to do something special to us in life…
Some of us never find what that is…
We attempt to do other things or jobs that we hope will keep us content…
Yet some can go through life contented…
Others not so much…
I may not be the most amazing artist…
But I am an artist…
I am not being me if I do not create…
If I do not express…
Whether in a meal…
Whether in a drawing…
Whether in a sculpture…
Whether in a design of a room…
Whether in word…
Whether in a photo…
I am not fulfilling my destiny if I ignore what I know to be must be…
Denying myself the ability to be myself…
No soul…
No drive…
No passion…
No excitement…
No vision…
No creating…
No art…
I may not be saving the world…
Saving a life…
Doing something globally and positively impactful…
If…I can inspire a handful of people in a positive way…
If…I can touch a heart to feel loved…
If…I can make a soul feel important…
Through my lessons learned…
Through my shared experiences…
Through my own pain…
Then I will feel fulfilled…
I wrote this as part of my healing process…
I am woman like any other…
What I’ve experienced has been experienced before me and will be after me…
Nothing new or different…
Divorce…
Or…on the way to one…
What a painful experience…
It’s the death of a marriage…
The death of your best friend…
Your lover…
Your mentor…
Your supporter…
Your life…
Two souls that mesh as one…
He completed me…
Made me better…
Consumed by my love for him…
I lost myself along the way…
And now…I had to find myself again…
By force no less…
Why couldn’t I keep my identity with him?
Why didn’t I have the courage to make choices?
Why couldn’t I make myself happy?
So, that I could be happy with him…
So, that I could be happy with the wonderful things I was blessed to have in my life…
So, here I am writing…
By accident…
By destiny….
Pouring out of me like a running faucet…
Maybe…
Not everyone would have thought to write and express themselves on paper…
Maybe…
They were afraid to share the most intimate details…
The most intimate thoughts…
Desires….
Sensations…
Emotions…
Reactions…
I am compelled to do this…
We are more alike then we realize…
Women…
Strong creatures, we are…
We can give life…
Nurture…
Fight harder then even men in many ways…
So underestimated in life…
I am more consistently discouraged then I am encouraged to move forward…
No one pushes me forward more then myself…
No one loves me more then myself…
From deep, deep inside my recesses I somehow find the energy and the drive to take on another day…
Each day…
To be better then I was yesterday…
To love more then I loved yesterday…
To work harder then I did yesterday…
To forgive again and again so I can heal…
So I can understand…
So I can be wise…
So I can love…
So I can create…
So I can find happiness…
So I can feel fulfilled…
So I can be just me…
All I want is to be just me…
You get what you see…
You see what I am…
I am me…

Sunday, March 6, 2011

We All Give Off Energy


We all give off energy…
There exists between us interconnectivity…
You need to ask yourself what kind of energy do I exude to others?
Why?
Because…
We have such influence on others…
We each have a livelihood that can teeter in a delicate balance…
You have the power to choose your influence…
Choose wisely…