Hot Rod P. 5

His body felt good…

I couldn’t fully get my arms around him…

He may have been too much for me to handle…

The breeze felt cool and crisp from the speed…

Eventually we left the main roads…

The one we were on was pretty clear of cars…

Headed toward the countryside it seemed…

More trees and shrubs…

Pleasant scenery…

He slowed down a little…

Seemed to be relaxing somewhat…

I guess he was anxious to get somewhere, too…

Not just me…

No turning back now…

He slowed down even more…

Took a few turns…

Even more secluded…

Beautiful…

Trees in full bloom…

Flowers all over…

Every color of the rainbow…

Felt like another world…

We were pulling in to a park…

Got knots in my stomach…

Felt like a teenager again…

Being spontaneous…

I hadn’t done that, since I can remember…

We usually follow our mind and not our heart…

But what our heart wants makes us most happy…

He stopped in a private area…

I hopped right off…

Pulled my helmet off and swung my hair around…

I looked at him…

He watched me intently…

I got a chill down my spine…

He looked hungry…

I was ready to feed him…

I was so ready…

I walk toward him…

He was still sitting on the bike…

Holding it up with both feet…

I wore a simple Capri legging and long cotton hoodie tunic…

Light and comfy…

I grabbed his face and looked into his eyes…

I kissed him gently…

I was controlling the tempo…

He just let me do my thing…

I kept kissing and kissing…

Gave him some soft tongue play…

He was very responsive…

Hot Rod P. 4

He already had me all excited! ...

The power of the bike beneath me got me going…

He revved the engine…

Lifted his feet off the ground as the bike sped forward…

I gripped his body tighter…

I moved forward, rubbing against his body snugger…

I could feel his reaction…

He was enjoying the sensation of my breasts rubbing his back…

Caramel felt the vibration even more intensely…

This was almost as good as a vibrator…

The wind started to whip across my face…

I actually began to feel a little chilly even though it was a warm day…

He started weaving in and out of traffic…

Didn’t know where he was taking me and I didn’t care…

If this is what freedom feels like, tastes like…

I was all for it! …

He started to pick up even more speed…

I got even more excited and, even a little scared…

I don’t even remember the last time I was on a bike…

I squeezed him even tighter…

I saw him tilt his head sideways…

Almost like he was trying to check on me…

I scooted closer…

Hot Rod P.3

I obliged …

Almost obeyed him…

I came closer and nodded my head up and down…

“I think you’re hot”…

“What’s your name?” he asked…

“They call me ‘Caramel’”…

“That’s cool. I’m digging it”…

I tilted my head down...

My eyes are searing over the rim of the shades…

Raised my right brow up…

A sign I was interested…

“I’m digging you” I said…

I then asked, “Where you headed and can I tag along?”…

“Sure can, Babe. Down for whatever?” he asked almost pleadingly…

“Hell yeah! Where to?” I replied…

I hopped on the back of his back…

He gave me his helmet…

I grabbed around his waist…

He felt strong…

He turned on the bike…

The engine rumbled loudly…

It vibrated strongly…

I was excited...

Hot Rod P.2

As I opened the door, I noticed he was standing outside waiting…

He had a motorcycle parked at the curb …

He also had a leather jacket and some jeans …

He smiled at me and was still laughing about what happened…

I looked toward him and thought…

I like him…

He gave off a nice vibe…

Definitely something sexual going on there…

I slowly kept walking toward the parking lot…

He really didn’t say much…

Except his t-shirt…

Which said, “Normal people scare me”…

We both laughed hard…

I turned around and gave him a thumbs-up…

He sat on his bike and got comfortable…

I got excited…

Motorcycles always excited me…

Always wanted to learn to ride one, and maybe even buy one…

I think I will…

Nothing holding me back anymore…

He went to put his helmet on…

I turned toward him and looked at him intensely…

He saw I meant business…

He lifted his hands and flicked his finger, gesturing to come toward him...

Hot Rod P1

It was a beautiful sunny day…

I was running errands, just minding my business…

Lately, I seemed happier than usual…

I was in a good place…

Finding my own… Being myself…

Content in the concept of me, myself, and I …

Long overdue, this feeling…

Carelessness…

Freedom…

I sort of daydreamed as I continued my flow…

I had to make a pit stop at a shoe repair place a few towns away…

They do an amazing job…

I’m hard on my shoes since I work on my feet…

My head was down because I was lost in my thoughts…

I pulled the door open…

As I yanked it…

A big, tall guy came swinging through the door…

Almost collapsing on me…

He gasped because he was caught off guard…

Put his hand to his chest and screamed aloud…

But not like a bitch…

I started laughing so hard. It was so funny…

I guess I scared the shit out of this guy…

He kept the door open…

I said, “Are you okay? Did I scare you?”…

He just kept laughing…

In the short span of time I noticed…

He was really tall, about six feet, three inches…

Large build, like a brick house…

He was fair-skinned…

Salt-and-peppery hair, but more on the salt side…

Maybe there was some blonde in there, too…

I immediately thought…

He’s really attractive and for his age he looks damn good!!!...

I just shook my head and giggled as I walked in…

Looked back and noticed he was really examining me…

I went about my business…

Maybe 10 minutes later, I went to leave…

Trivial Pursuits...

    Trivial- the opposite of serious. Most of us take our feelings very serious, very personally no doubt. Most of those in our lives that give a damn about us do as well, even if they seem oblivious. Well oblivious is a strong word, let's say aloof. Emotional seriousness is our way to protect the livelihood of our hearts. I've never been called aloof. I realize that it is very probable I am or have been towards others if I'm not in tune to their feelings. My forte has always been the ability to be open and honest in sharing feelings, concerns and interests. I'm pretty intuitive and at times don't address topics because I choose not to, because I have the answers to the questions I already seek even if I don't let them know I understand these things. I've learned through lessons that we must allow individuals to move at their own pace. Their pace may not be in line with ours, but the repercussions of that they'll have to live with- no? Quite honestly, I don't know how much more honest I can be. I don't know how much more direct I can be. I am an open book, I wear my heart on my sleeve to those I let in to my private world.
     I'm having another epiphany. I've been afforded a second lease on life. While some of you view me and think- she's taking advantage of her new found freedom, her new found passion, and her newly found world I can tell you that I still have opportunity to spread my wings.  A woman's pursuits are the same as any man's. We want independence, financial stability, follow our passions, find love and for some of us raise families. I wanted it all! Why not? I am not defined by just being a mother and a wife. Are you as a man?  I had all of those things except the one passion I never followed, which was my creativity. The most critical component of my soul and being. In retrospect, probably the main reason why my life eventually fell apart.
    Pursuits- what I see is, that what drives others does not drive me. I had what I call the "piece of the pie"- the husband, the smart children, the beautiful home, family, a solid career, and my health. I had what most seek. All of those things are gone- except my health, my talents and my children. What I do have, what I have gained- is me. The amazing terrific me that continues to evolve. Bittersweet no doubt! I still have the rest of my life ahead of me. Like a baby I'm crawling. Soon I'll walk confidently and securely. As the fast learner that I am, I'll be sprinting! Yet, it is not going to be what I imagined it to be. Maybe what I imagined, was possibly not even close to what it was meant to be- what my path shall be.
    What I'm trying to get at is that we need to live in the moment, make the best of each day. I am driven to find happiness, whatever that means to me. This "new concept" which I still have to define. I do know it doesn't look like me waiting- on anything. I no longer can live each day hoping to fill the void. Waiting for someone to fill that love. Waiting to express my passions. To taste, smell and touch life! When you reach your goals, you will find she had to move on to fill the yin to someone else's yang. Regardless of what our hearts desires are... What longings will fill us to the brim of contentment... We must realize that nothing is more important than living in the now. Appreciating what you have in your life, your loved ones- the real purpose of any fulfillment. Let there be no doubt of this!

For everything else...
That you tangibly pursue...
It truly a trivial pursuit...

-Liz