Kiss Off...

Kiss off...

2011, that is! 

My energy is feisty and spirited right now! Okay, well last year wasn't a horrible year. Kiss off to empty space. What do I mean by that? Being single is nice, right? Or is it more just comfortable? Hmm... Suddenly, you feel this attraction, this passion, this desire, this love, this yummy something towards someone. What shall I do? Do I give into it or do I hold on to my space? Because you know, I really need an entire universe of space all to myself, right? Seriously, this may be more difficult than desired. Let's take a step back and think why wouldn't we go for it? Yeah, you noticed the we? Good...Let's continue! Unless of course you like to be in a relationship with yourself. If you want a relationship with someone else, you need to be human. Sometimes it feels like one of us knows what we want, knows how to get it in life and in relationships...while the other, just goes with the flow, whether or not its right for them. To make it through a worm hole, a balance has to be found, and the will to carry through on intentions. On one hand, things can happen by way of harmony and cooperation, or on the other hand, an out and out brutal eruption of conflict. Luck of the cards will allow a bit of both and can make a relationship solidify. I do realize, that I love to be the center of someone's universe. You know what I'm saying? I like to be the one handing out the cookies and deciding how many are going to be eaten!!! Wanna cookie? Lol...What this forces me to acknowledge is, that it's hard to accept when they have other interests that push me towards the bottom of the totem pole.  Liz doesn't like the end of the list, unless it's a to do list I've just finished. Meaning, I have standards and expectations...oh and priorities! We all have activities outside of our relationships, but if your my moon and you light my love... than I best be your sun that heats your passion. Shall we dance in the same galaxy? Though conflict is not pleasurable, it is sometimes necessary and probable that disappointments will happen. The next flight pattern...retreat into quiet objectivity or no emotional social contact? Hmm maybe. Unless a strong sexual drive coerces me into love entanglements, but then again interactions with the opposite sex could be very tense. 

Deal with racing pulses...

In the rising tide of passion...

Lose my ability to keep cool...

Or?

Kiss off...

-Liz  = )

A Gem...

A gem...is what I am. Those who know me well, know I am humble. I do however, know and understand the value. I am hard, maybe tough is a better word. I am soft, maybe sensitive is a better word. The uniqueness and rarity...that is me, adds lustre to my aura and lends value to me as an individual. Most of us don't capitalize on our own potential and allow ambivalence to consume us. Clarity clouded by confusion? Yes, being dense is not something I proud of and yet I keep guiding myself into the thick fog of my loveless heart. Should I take this as a sign that I am still not ready to trust my own heart? When my entire life I've guided myself by my mind? With exception to the day I married my ex and I have no regrets there.  I want to float on the cloud that carries my heart and mind on the same page. Or does cloud nine not really exist? Meaning, my cloud nine is not the love itself but the balanced harmony of my mind and heart. Fate muscles his way into my life with a fiery brawn. Yes, his way, as in male. It keeps me appetizing for a more passionate existence, shaking me up for a foreign, fabulous and seductive personality. The man who wears me will gain strength, fortitude, appreciation, admiration and most importantly love. Maybe my cloud sits on the number six but every cloud has a silver lining right? As it eventually floats higher and the fog dissipates, I will find that which my heart and mind seek. 

A soul with depth and intensity...

A soul with mystery and a sense of magic...

Transparently beautiful for its value...

Like a gem...

-Liz

Crooked Smile...

Crooked smile...mine right now, sometimes it's just so difficult. I can sometimes take myself too seriously, although I have a good sense of humor. Especially when I'm passionate about someone or something. I give a damn, so damn me for giving a shit!!! That passion, I would never give up for the world! It drives me to be me, vocal and expressive. When I keep it in, I do myself an injustice because I create more distress over a sense of disharmony. Before I got divorce, I took a lot of things for granted. I was never inclined to avoid serious discussions or have necessary disagreements, regardless of the impact it may have had. I'm not a fearful person in that sense, I like to keep it real. Honesty or sharing of feelings is never meant to be hurtful. Feedback is a gift, whether we want to hear it or not, whether we want to say it or not. Anyone connected with me always knew where I stood on topics or where they stood in my life. My emotional responses now, are deeper and more intense. Provoked by my emanate regret of past failures I look to avoid repeating. My hibernating heap of a love life, more in tune as a comedic skit only threatens to poke fun of the shortcomings of men, women and our attempts at loving passion. What I have learned, is to see the funny side of things. The alignment of my thoughts like a rigid balance beam, while my feelings are pounded by the relentless determination to control the flips. Hysterically, surrendering to the humor of it all, somehow makes it seem funnier. The joke is, we're the comedians. Writing our own skits and lame punchlines, when it's as simple as eliminating something from your life, like stale attitudes or stymied behaviors. So what else can one really do except laugh and realize it's not so bad after all, it can be resuscitated. I'd rather laugh than cry, achingly hard.

The laugh will spark smiles...

The smile will lighten things up...

Anytime is a good time to lighten up...

Even if it's with a crooked smile...

-Liz  = )

Walk Before You Run...

Walk before you run...Yes, what a concept huh? As much as most of us look to run before we walk. Sometimes slow and steady gets you there best. Fully loaded and ready to rock and roll with positive energy, my walk feels leisurely to me, even though I'm hustling. Probably because my mind is driving fast and I skipped the running part. Impatient and impulsive me knows from experience that nothing is gained from rushing things, but it still doesn't get any easier waiting. Eyes wide open, I'm going to find those doors that will capture the opportunity for second chances in my life to make things right... in all aspects. I just have one life to live and I'll be damned if it's not what I want it to be. The future has got my full attention. Will cosmic forces create special conditions for me? By some peculiar stroke of destiny will outcomes fall into place? I like to think that we create our own conditions and thus uncover those things that we would otherwise not see, because we're running.
Slow down...
Walk before you run...
Control each turn...
Choose to rule nothing either in or out...

-Liz

Pure Childlike Wonder...

Pure childlike wonder...natural innocence and simplicity.  You see, during this time in my life, I am re-thinking my approach to love and dating. Rather than employ my usual  sophisticated attitude, where I royally decree whether or not someone is a suitable mate, I opt for the childlike wonder of it all. That look in your eyes when you see someone you are drawn to and practically skip over to them in pure contentment, showing them your sweet sassy playful side. Like honey you draw them into giving you all the attention you crave and desire. Their taste buds consuming more sweetness than they bargained for and a sugar high they don't want to come down from. Willingly they oblige, knowing full well the sting is worth the honey this queen bee may be inclined to put out. Developing friendships and love relationships openly warm, affectionate, responsive and out of character. Meaning, I'm not looking to cooperate or coordinate any efforts at this time. I'm inclined to be aggressive if I don't get my way. So maybe avoidance is a good thing at the moment. Tripping my trigger to think and act with caution and wisdom. No can do! Take a deep breath, breathe fresh air and release the stuffy spell and smell of staleness. I want to embrace my energy and enjoy the adventure of loving and passion. Even if it means I jump over revealing secrets and private matters. Bypassing the depth, that sucks us into it's dark mundane fear of letting go.
I choose to see it through the simple eyes of innocence...
So that I can believe again...
With pure childlike wonder...
Emerging bold and with no limits...

-Liz

I look away from your gaze

 

"I look away from your gaze
for you do not need to look into my eyes
a hint of a smile revealing what my soul feels
allowing you to see what I cannot explain
other than knowing your lust has awoken my heart
deliciously piercing my hunger for your passion"...
-Liz Sanquiche