This Year's Energy

The energy of the year brings out a more naughty side to me for my artistic inspiration.
A side of me that people may view as trouble. It fluctuates like the tides and it's on the rise again. A side I usually put to pen and paper. A clutter that fills my mind and that I need to release. Either way I will not hide my true nature. I embrace all of me. I will use this energy to find unconventional ways to grow my talents, to inspire, to maintain a sanity, to partake in the world whatever I am meant to share...

Unleash the Passion...

Unleash the passion.... you know it's in there. Unleash the passion is the motto for my company called Blazon Brikhaus, Inc. Still a WIP. Passion is not sex. You see... Passion is a mindset. Passion is a lifestyle. Passion is personality. Passion is character. Passion is color. Passion is life. Passion lives within each of us, and to deny that is to deny living.

The key is finding what your passion is and than having the courage to follow it. A lot of us have worked jobs or careers which were more financially sound than maybe where our talents lie. Usually the sacrifices are worth while for stability. But not more worthwhile than losing your identity, and, or throwing away special talents. Well we know Brikhaus is my nickname. This divorce has literally blazed this passion in me to find my purpose, to nurture my talents, to grab this second lease on my life by the reigns. I'm feisty! I'm fiery! People may interpret it as anger but it's the opposite. It has frustrated me that I lost so much time in other things. My lesson learned though was that it in fact was not wasted time.

It was a journey that nurtured me in many other ways. Better prepared me for the next chapter of ME. Evolved me into the Bad Ass I intend to be. I know it's cliche to say things happen for a reason, but they do. I lost my husband, my best friend, my lover, and part of me. I gained something better. I gained the best part of me. The artist. Best for last... damn straight! Who says the second part of my life won't be better? What you see, and hear, and read is me- Me opening my book for you to read as I write my story. So you see, I don't look for approval. I look for responses, interactions, connections, and influences. I seek like minded people who lust passion like today is their last breath.  For what makes them tick. For what makes them successful. I look to inspire and be inspired. Nothing more, nothing less.

...If passion were a lifestyle, what would that be? ...If passion was a mindset, what would that mean? ...If passion was a color, what would it be? ...If passion was you, would you be you? ...Unleash the passion ...One Life, One You, One Chance 

All My Flavor,
Liz

Dragon Heart

           Dragon heart... We all have one hidden deep within us. My perception of them is not drawn in evil.  Unless you are consumed by the nemesis of yours. The myth of dragons is considered magical, supernatural, wise, and a primal force of nature-religion-universe. They are either feared or revered across the world, on every continent, and ancient to all cultures. I've always had a fascination with them. Wicked in appearance, they are deeper than the surface; as I always say that I am.
          "Hic sunt dracones" - here be dragons. Well here be one fierce dragon, that is my heart. Blazing dangerous fires over unexplored territories, uncharted areas in the map of my life. I care not what repercussions may come from the heat of my own desires. Willing to burn in my path remnants of a past and of persons I no longer look to recall, except as an ashy dark cloud trapped in the concave of my chest. The suffocating smoke diverging my attempts to find all those pieces to my puzzle that will complete my happiness.
           My vulnerable underbelly of logic fighting the forces of my crimson livelihood, sometimes to a point where I think madness will be my true treasure. Fermented by primal fears and nightmares that only feed the beast to fight harder. Meaning... we are our worst enemy. Logic fighting heart. Critical, debilitating and depleting the very passion that drives us to thrive, survive, and elevate ourselves.
           So for all my imagination, which is much and worthy of much. I can accept my dragon heart for all I am and all I have to offer. For I still realize the worth of the fearsome creature that I am and can be. knowingly and willingly choosing to leave a legacy behind me. For sure and with no doubt I will be appreciated far more in my death than I am in my hot breath.

A hybrid...
Daughter, mother, sister...
Lover, friend, enemy...
Writer, sculptor, poet...
Above all else, a delicate, strong woman...
With a dragon heart...

-Liz
         
        

Trivial Pursuits...

    Trivial- the opposite of serious. Most of us take our feelings very serious, very personally no doubt. Most of those in our lives that give a damn about us do as well, even if they seem oblivious. Well oblivious is a strong word, let's say aloof. Emotional seriousness is our way to protect the livelihood of our hearts. I've never been called aloof. I realize that it is very probable I am or have been towards others if I'm not in tune to their feelings. My forte has always been the ability to be open and honest in sharing feelings, concerns and interests. I'm pretty intuitive and at times don't address topics because I choose not to, because I have the answers to the questions I already seek even if I don't let them know I understand these things. I've learned through lessons that we must allow individuals to move at their own pace. Their pace may not be in line with ours, but the repercussions of that they'll have to live with- no? Quite honestly, I don't know how much more honest I can be. I don't know how much more direct I can be. I am an open book, I wear my heart on my sleeve to those I let in to my private world.
     I'm having another epiphany. I've been afforded a second lease on life. While some of you view me and think- she's taking advantage of her new found freedom, her new found passion, and her newly found world I can tell you that I still have opportunity to spread my wings.  A woman's pursuits are the same as any man's. We want independence, financial stability, follow our passions, find love and for some of us raise families. I wanted it all! Why not? I am not defined by just being a mother and a wife. Are you as a man?  I had all of those things except the one passion I never followed, which was my creativity. The most critical component of my soul and being. In retrospect, probably the main reason why my life eventually fell apart.
    Pursuits- what I see is, that what drives others does not drive me. I had what I call the "piece of the pie"- the husband, the smart children, the beautiful home, family, a solid career, and my health. I had what most seek. All of those things are gone- except my health, my talents and my children. What I do have, what I have gained- is me. The amazing terrific me that continues to evolve. Bittersweet no doubt! I still have the rest of my life ahead of me. Like a baby I'm crawling. Soon I'll walk confidently and securely. As the fast learner that I am, I'll be sprinting! Yet, it is not going to be what I imagined it to be. Maybe what I imagined, was possibly not even close to what it was meant to be- what my path shall be.
    What I'm trying to get at is that we need to live in the moment, make the best of each day. I am driven to find happiness, whatever that means to me. This "new concept" which I still have to define. I do know it doesn't look like me waiting- on anything. I no longer can live each day hoping to fill the void. Waiting for someone to fill that love. Waiting to express my passions. To taste, smell and touch life! When you reach your goals, you will find she had to move on to fill the yin to someone else's yang. Regardless of what our hearts desires are... What longings will fill us to the brim of contentment... We must realize that nothing is more important than living in the now. Appreciating what you have in your life, your loved ones- the real purpose of any fulfillment. Let there be no doubt of this!

For everything else...
That you tangibly pursue...
It truly a trivial pursuit...

-Liz

The Touch of My Hands...

For you naughty folks...

I owe you a better entry than this for the title!!! ; )

 

My art is my life. I'm just getting started. I hope to arouse and titillate your senses.

The stories, the poetry, the sculpting and anything else that may yet come to fruition.

Nothing fulfills me more than bringing to life an image that stirs in my mind as an idea.

If you enjoy my work, I would so love, be humbled, and appreciate a vote for my contest entry.

Recognition and support are tremendous motivators for me. 

Here's the link:   http://t.co/DITYv1fq

One Love...

-Liz

Love is Passion...

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find them? Forget your head and listen to your heart. The truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

-Anthony Hopkins, 'Meet Joe Black'

Strike Out...

     Strike out...freezing you out, distancing yourselves from each other. Not quite sure how to interpret a less than lack luster sunny disposition? Then your inner heat just builds a fiery anger against a deep freeze, the coldest of shoulders. Not the first time for me to feel a little fear, a little sadness and a lot of confusion. When the passion goes missing, when reaching out stops, when I love you's are no longer said...the realization sinks in that a change must happen and makes you feel more uncomfortable, clueless even. You try to put it off because you know the change must happen. Beware of what you ask for? No doubt, which means I'm sending mixed signals but then, that means I'm receiving mixed signals as well. The weight of my mind and in my heart prompts interesting questions and will always provoke serious answers. This is when I'm reminded how important space is, as well as give and take in relationships. When people are less than forthcoming, do we not take it seriously? Do I need to remind them or be reminded of each others presence? Not likely. Maybe, looking for some peace? Maybe, searching deep within ourselves for answers to certain all-encompassing questions? Who isn't? Yet, you constantly find yourself thinking something is missing or feeling that you're not included.
      It's almost been 3 years for me since my Ex and I broke off. I'd be lying to you if I said I had my shit together, or even let you perceive that. I'm struggling here, trying to embrace the single life, trying to start over from scratch, with zero. I've had it all, what most are looking for. I want it again but differently, better. How do I feel about it? A-Z, I've felt it all! I'm sure I'm still on repeat too! BUT...there's no self pity here, it lived here for a minute and I kicked it out on it's ass. I have standards, expectations and I will not settle for less. I can bend, flex and compromise better than anyone. Oh, and sacrifice? Ms. Sacrifice to you! I've been there and done that, but it doesn't come without a price. I despise dating, its doesn't feel real or natural. I'm not a package and I'm not looking for a package. I rather develop friendships that could build to something better. That's the real deal and that's what works. Teetering, rocking, rolling, roller coasting...I'm done, I'm ready to vomit all the negative feelings in the pit of my stomach. I can't hold on to that anymore. I'm a positive but realistic person by nature. I've always embraced change easily. I choose to surround myself with people and like mindsets. To fight for what you believe in. To speak up and be honest, no matter how deep the fear resides. To take risks, because if you don't...you deserve nothing.
You will not reap what you don't sow...
Strike out...
3? Not in my book, you're lucky if you get 2...
Yourrrrrr Out! ...

-Liz

Facing Chapters...

Facing chapters... full frontal. Is there any other way? Sure! The back leading, but what's that really do for you? Unwilling to act only slows down your progress. Reminds me of a saying in Spanish my mother use to say, "El bago trabaja doble." Translation... the lazy person works twice as hard, doesn't sound as good in English, but so true. Turning your back, not acknowledging a situation or unwilling to act, will just make things more difficult than they need to be. Sometimes, we may feel there is not enough action to tickle our palette and paint the canvas. There is always lots of opportunity to talk about what will get done, details, the scheme of things and how they fit in your life. A whole lot of nothing actually gets done. I've always been a power house with lists, love to bang them out! Lately, I do more contemplating than needed. A result of being a writer, it can have its downside. Now at a huge crossroad... selling my house, the core of my family and, of my former marriage. It feels surreal, but its real. I have so much pain in my heart right now; a chapter I knew would close, and has to close for me. Then I can open new doors, the doors of friendship, of love, of work, and my destination. Wherever I'm headed I will always be the nucleus of my family, the roaring alpha female-ferocious in her desire to live and protect. My softer side forced me to cry it out for a week, to get it out of my system, to gather my strength, to understand the mix of emotions, and to refocus my priorities.
No blur between real and fiction...
No reading between the lines...
It's the black and white...
Read on...
Facing chapters...

-Liz

Red Hot...

Red hot... Blazon... Pent up... Deeply unhinging... Burning passion..... Consuming me! A moth to a flame... intrigued and drawn. No matter how hard I try I can't keep away; my reserved quietude irresistibly drawing others in to my inner circle, and I to theirs.  I am searing my wings against the heat of my own soul. Exploding sensations becoming the inexplicable nature of a crackling aura...MINE. Desires- sharing cracked flaws, bursting all self containment, virtually silent flames converting into a blazon tinging emotional expansion. Meaning...opening up to larger issues, stronger feelings and an unlocked heart. Instigating and appearing irrational, being berated and even praised for just following instincts. One chapter closing in a relationship; partnerships ending, altering and forcing new beginnings for essential changes to occur.  A long overdue opportunity on the horizon awaits; a necessary path to a more productive course. It's simple...follow the heart; when all those involved become more certain of what they want, they all can work together on conflicting goals, which are not really conflicted. There is no getting through a fiery blaze without some minor or epic burns. 

Disruption and chaos...

Reigniting appreciation for life...

Heightening love...

Blazon...

Red hot... 

-Liz

All Work & No Play...

All work and no play...Well, that's me right now!!! Lol...No bueno, as a friend of mine likes to say.  I promised myself I would never fall into that pattern again. Yet, here I am repeating the same damn mistakes. I'm so compulsive sometimes,  or is it obsessive? Hmmm, I thinks it's both and it's ridiculous! This will be a year of major changes for me on a personal level, I can feel it. Finding it necessary to break away from my usual routine.  Schedules, deadlines, timetables, excuses and any dead weight holding me down. I need stimulation, lots of fun and loosening up even more than ever. I need to relax and remind myself, there are things out of my control and as such no point in getting hot, all worked up and tearing my hair out. I'm going to just sink back and allow things to fall into place as they must. My mood dictates experimenting, trying new things. Offbeat and original excite me, inspire me. Seriously, I need to get an even better life!!! By all means, it's not crappy but I want more! I need more! I will get more! Cause what Liz wants, Liz gets!!!

Discovery...

Inventiveness...

Spontaneity...

All play & no work...

Hahaha, we shall see...

-Liz ; )

Cause and Effect...

 

Cause and effect...expressing emotions is necessary, to repress any is unhealthy. Ironically, in any extreme emotional state logic gets thrown out the window because we're driven by the passion of that emotion. Controlling emotions takes skill unless there is a denial of that emotion. I question whether we can really control emotions anyway. Isn't that what makes it an emotion? That it's not driven by logic? But something much deeper and more powerful existing within us. Every individual has to own their emotions because it has an impact on others. Life has taught me that we do not have a right to question someone's feelings. If they have it and own it, we must respect it. Anyone with any intelligence will try to understand. By all means that doesn't mean we have to agree with it but we have to acknowledge it. It is legitimate. Imagine you shared your feelings and they were completely disregarded. How would that make you feel? Sometimes rules are meant to be broken, but relationships are like eggs, once they are broken they are never the same again. Unconventional pressure may be a good thing or not. It depends how far you want to stray and is it far enough you won't be able to come back. Expression and speaking the mind may be challenging and unnerving to yourself and the ones you're close to. Surges of emotions feel like a storm one minute and blue skies the next. It's usually getting carried away in the storms that blows you in a direction that has ill effects.What does this all mean? It means, we are a reflection of each other. For example, I give off a certain energy and you will respond/react to me accordingly. I may not realize my affect on you but it exists nonetheless, or I may. Point being it's a chain reaction. Every interaction you have with another person involves this concept. Are you in tune with it? Probably not. Can you be? Sure. Depends how strong this energy is, how important this person is and your own self awareness. 

Keep your mind active and sharp...

Find compromises...

Use the power of good reasoning...

Tighten your focus...

No escaping...

The cause...

And effect...

-Liz

Mischievous Me...

Mischievous me...full of honey and sunshine? Hmm, not always. Why is being naughty, saucy, sultry so absolutely sexy? Or... the feelings when you're the object of someone's intense desire? Or...the obsessing over someone controlling a powerful magnetism over you? I'm not talking about the sensation of newness, this goes deeper than that. It's bracing yourself before that plunging ride at an amusement park. You asked for it, you know what's coming, you're excited! You do it, you don't regret it,  in fact you repeat it! Adrenaline going, heart racing, breath panting! You're alive, so alive. It's the energy...completely and totally the energy. It has this way of manifesting almost as an entity unto itself. It's bold and outspoken. You almost have to plant your feet to the ground so that your head is not in the clouds. That energy puts you on edge, jagged and raw...cuts deep into your being. Can we jar this feeling? It creates a glow,  infectious smile and vivacious spirit. And...can we call it Delicious? Hahaha...It's all about flavor for me!

Honey and sunshine? yes...

Naughty and saucy? yes...

Mischievous me? I guess, that's a yes...

Priceless? Hell Yes! ...

-Liz

Darkest Before Dawn...

Darkest before dawn...the deep black of the night you fear the most. The fear that grips you tight and makes you feel like your emotions are going to burst from anticipation. The "I can't hold on any longer when is this going to end?" type of sentiment. You know it, you've felt it, we all have...it's called desperation. The end of the rope feeling where you just for once want to let go and spiral down wherever it takes you, anywhere is better than what you feel is necessary to hold on. I don't refer to holding on to past love but in fact holding on to self...to rebuild self.  In all honesty, my biggest struggle is committing to  people I cherish,  my friends. Where do you start? When most of your life you've invested trust with a person you were fully committed to? That you lost yourself in them out of pure love? That even the smallest requests or demands from your friends feel like a vice grip on my head and heart. I'm excavating here, how much deeper before I find this crucial cache? The only way to relieve the pressure is to push them away. Ironically you need them more than ever. As I see it now, a divorce is really a rebirth. Spit out by turbo jets of a hot swirling jacuzzi of turmoil-ed emotions. And...crawling is required before walking. You take those baby steps and the further you go, the more excited you get about where you're headed. This is self awareness, baring my soul in tangible black and white, allowing me to heal. When I started this blog my hopes were to connect with others. My hopes were to inspire others. My hopes were to share my pain. My hopes were to share my art. To share my love of writing. To share of myself. To show you... I am a reflection of you, as you are of me. That we are the same, even in our differences, even in our unparallelled lives that may never directly connect. Except maybe in the deep black of the night, when you've decided it's easier to crawl because the energy has flowed out of the strongest part of your body...your HEART. If you take another baby step and reach your arms out. 

You will see through the obscurity...

You will feel all the hands reaching for you...

You will sense the onset of glowing rays...

When you're past the part, darkest before dawn...

-Liz

Dig Deep...

Dig deep...meaning, you may have to work for it. It being the required response you are seeking. Something hidden by them? By you? Rifts can heal quickly with mutual trust. Conflicts between duty and pleasure, between the mundane and the yearning for love exist in subtle overtones when you listen intently. Cozy conversations can conjure depths of understanding to new levels between people, to a degree that you maybe never anticipated. Deep, compelling, urgent and energetic...it is there, but you need to draw it out with charm and subtlety. Sometimes the direct approach can ruin the entire gig. At the bottom of it all, is the craving for an intimate connection that will last beyond the moment and well into the future. You may even feel that they are keeping something from you and you keep chipping away until they reveal it all. You wonder why it was kept it in the first place, however you realize it's because a burden didn't want to be placed or a request for assistance, even if it is... or was needed. At this moment, is a good time to spoil each other with comforting affection. This could be the diamond in the rough. Look past the superficial veneers.

See what's inside the one you really desire...

Remember you may have to...

Dig deep...

-Liz

Less Than Lusty...

Less than lusty...the energy baring my patience. Pulling emotional sustenance and a sense of security from where ever I can find it. Issues long resolved, or so I thought, coming to the surface. Leaving me perplexed and upset. Events out of my control putting pressure on me. I hope that all this drama will serve me well in the future by building blocks to a more solid foundation. Simmering beneath this surface, coming to light, those things which no longer work in my life. The possession of deeply ingrained self-defeating attitudes, never understood that and never will. I will separate myself from that at any cost. It's understandable to refuse anyone to take advantage of a good nature and big heart. In doing so protecting the desire to keep the peace can leave us feeling very vulnerable. Problems are never more important than your peace of mind. Clear understandings established in relationships are worthless if they don't serve everyone well. Most would not upset the balance of things in their surroundings or push it on their relationships. What does that mean? We reconfirm old patterns hoping that will give us better odds? Leaving well enough alone so it eventually will work itself out? Self- delusions!!! I don't sweep my dirt under the rug. That dirt pile will just build and then, all of my frustration and anger will lead me to rebel against all those in my suffocation.
Prefer a breathe of fresh air...
Stagnate is...
Less than lusty...

-Liz

Consumed...

Consumed... By long drawn out periods of silence. Words are very important, but silence can say even more than you can imagine. My secrets, the secret feelings of my heart and mind that is, weighing a heavy burden on my soul. How clandestine will it remain? Depends... affairs of the heart are not easily kept under wraps. My soul, it's only true authority, and acting of its own accord. At times the silence feels secure, wrapping me in a blanket of withdrawal and allowing me to  talk to myself. A worthwhile proposition versus having to explain juicy tidbits from my sensory overload to others. Sounds crazy? No can do... It's just the solitude is greatly nourishing my artistic soul in positive ways.  Nothing wrong with spending quality time with myself, enjoying quiet comfortable surroundings. I urgently and passionately desire to act on the dictates of my emotions rather than reason.  I embrace change without having to look over my shoulder. Occasionally, it taps me and reminds me it's still there, not going anywhere. I grin at my past like a dear old friend, grateful for his company.  I am pulled forward excitedly to new people, new things, new places. My gut reaction cautious, the pace of it all is my true struggle. Rather than sticking out my lower lip like an obstinate little child, I smile and face my new friend...future, his hands strong and re-assuring.

The glimmer in my eye...

The smirk on my face...

Is me being focused...

Consumed...

-Liz

Dark Desire...

Dark desire...of a wild fantasy, ruffles my feathers. For sure involving words. Subtle nuances floating on phrases, light as sweet whispers that whisk my ears breezily  and teasingly as lips of my lover. Desire carries me into a world of fantasy with unexpected twists and turns. An expanse where strong sexual feeling and romantic passions are stimulated and fulfilled consistently. Sounds decadent, doesn't it? You may think that all I do is day dream... galloping on the backs of wild horses, untamed and free. Not even a writer has the luxury of that much time, well not in my world anyway. I wonder and try to understand what has gone on, or still goes on in this heart of mine. Sometimes it seems very detached from the blood and guts of a real relationship. Maybe the fantasy should be to allow myself to truly feel, since being numb more often than tingling, is not beneficial. Maybe that will remind me more of what I'm missing or truly needing in my life. Romantic notions flow fluidly into gaps large as oceans between what I desire and what I receive. Yet mystically, when I connect my feelings through a bond with another soul, a sensuality occurs that goes beyond the body and five senses...a heavenly realm. The place that gorges my soul with a crimson carnivorous lust. The surround sound submersing  my mind with mystical music and mood reaching my core. Until... I'm expelled from this expanse, and it all dissolves into a dusty dirge. My hands scraping the dirt for the most miniscule grain of luscious memory I can save. 

Defying...

A deep daze...

Defining...

A deep desire...

-Liz

Kiss Off...

Kiss off...

2011, that is! 

My energy is feisty and spirited right now! Okay, well last year wasn't a horrible year. Kiss off to empty space. What do I mean by that? Being single is nice, right? Or is it more just comfortable? Hmm... Suddenly, you feel this attraction, this passion, this desire, this love, this yummy something towards someone. What shall I do? Do I give into it or do I hold on to my space? Because you know, I really need an entire universe of space all to myself, right? Seriously, this may be more difficult than desired. Let's take a step back and think why wouldn't we go for it? Yeah, you noticed the we? Good...Let's continue! Unless of course you like to be in a relationship with yourself. If you want a relationship with someone else, you need to be human. Sometimes it feels like one of us knows what we want, knows how to get it in life and in relationships...while the other, just goes with the flow, whether or not its right for them. To make it through a worm hole, a balance has to be found, and the will to carry through on intentions. On one hand, things can happen by way of harmony and cooperation, or on the other hand, an out and out brutal eruption of conflict. Luck of the cards will allow a bit of both and can make a relationship solidify. I do realize, that I love to be the center of someone's universe. You know what I'm saying? I like to be the one handing out the cookies and deciding how many are going to be eaten!!! Wanna cookie? Lol...What this forces me to acknowledge is, that it's hard to accept when they have other interests that push me towards the bottom of the totem pole.  Liz doesn't like the end of the list, unless it's a to do list I've just finished. Meaning, I have standards and expectations...oh and priorities! We all have activities outside of our relationships, but if your my moon and you light my love... than I best be your sun that heats your passion. Shall we dance in the same galaxy? Though conflict is not pleasurable, it is sometimes necessary and probable that disappointments will happen. The next flight pattern...retreat into quiet objectivity or no emotional social contact? Hmm maybe. Unless a strong sexual drive coerces me into love entanglements, but then again interactions with the opposite sex could be very tense. 

Deal with racing pulses...

In the rising tide of passion...

Lose my ability to keep cool...

Or?

Kiss off...

-Liz  = )

A Gem...

A gem...is what I am. Those who know me well, know I am humble. I do however, know and understand the value. I am hard, maybe tough is a better word. I am soft, maybe sensitive is a better word. The uniqueness and rarity...that is me, adds lustre to my aura and lends value to me as an individual. Most of us don't capitalize on our own potential and allow ambivalence to consume us. Clarity clouded by confusion? Yes, being dense is not something I proud of and yet I keep guiding myself into the thick fog of my loveless heart. Should I take this as a sign that I am still not ready to trust my own heart? When my entire life I've guided myself by my mind? With exception to the day I married my ex and I have no regrets there.  I want to float on the cloud that carries my heart and mind on the same page. Or does cloud nine not really exist? Meaning, my cloud nine is not the love itself but the balanced harmony of my mind and heart. Fate muscles his way into my life with a fiery brawn. Yes, his way, as in male. It keeps me appetizing for a more passionate existence, shaking me up for a foreign, fabulous and seductive personality. The man who wears me will gain strength, fortitude, appreciation, admiration and most importantly love. Maybe my cloud sits on the number six but every cloud has a silver lining right? As it eventually floats higher and the fog dissipates, I will find that which my heart and mind seek. 

A soul with depth and intensity...

A soul with mystery and a sense of magic...

Transparently beautiful for its value...

Like a gem...

-Liz

Crooked Smile...

Crooked smile...mine right now, sometimes it's just so difficult. I can sometimes take myself too seriously, although I have a good sense of humor. Especially when I'm passionate about someone or something. I give a damn, so damn me for giving a shit!!! That passion, I would never give up for the world! It drives me to be me, vocal and expressive. When I keep it in, I do myself an injustice because I create more distress over a sense of disharmony. Before I got divorce, I took a lot of things for granted. I was never inclined to avoid serious discussions or have necessary disagreements, regardless of the impact it may have had. I'm not a fearful person in that sense, I like to keep it real. Honesty or sharing of feelings is never meant to be hurtful. Feedback is a gift, whether we want to hear it or not, whether we want to say it or not. Anyone connected with me always knew where I stood on topics or where they stood in my life. My emotional responses now, are deeper and more intense. Provoked by my emanate regret of past failures I look to avoid repeating. My hibernating heap of a love life, more in tune as a comedic skit only threatens to poke fun of the shortcomings of men, women and our attempts at loving passion. What I have learned, is to see the funny side of things. The alignment of my thoughts like a rigid balance beam, while my feelings are pounded by the relentless determination to control the flips. Hysterically, surrendering to the humor of it all, somehow makes it seem funnier. The joke is, we're the comedians. Writing our own skits and lame punchlines, when it's as simple as eliminating something from your life, like stale attitudes or stymied behaviors. So what else can one really do except laugh and realize it's not so bad after all, it can be resuscitated. I'd rather laugh than cry, achingly hard.

The laugh will spark smiles...

The smile will lighten things up...

Anytime is a good time to lighten up...

Even if it's with a crooked smile...

-Liz  = )