A bit bruised...yes. Our ego suffers the responsibility of seeing things for what they really are, consciously aware of your true self. We are beings that desire and want what we want...usually, all things that bring us pleasure, happiness, excitement and gratification. Right? Who doesn't want all those things? I'd certainly say that my ego is probably black and blue from the constant beatings of trying to decipher between instant gratification, friendships, relationships and the meaning of it all as it pertains to the language of love. Even life for that matter. Consciously we fight back to control our sense of right, wrong, ideals and spirituality. Almost narcissistic...meaning, we put such demands on ourselves. Being critical and moralizing to a point of guilt, against the natural grain of instinctual behaviors, basic drives and impulses that require satisfaction. I think I've gone enough rounds to throw down my gloves and define my own strength of will, which has been modified long enough by external forces in my world. No more concealing conflicts or harboring anxiety. I either get knocked out or will knock the crap out of this ego and allow the strengths of my passion to come to fruition. No glossing over the finer details of the reality I choose to live in, live with and live for. To release my reservoir of passion for life, to create and to express.
Rigid and unyielding, I will be...
No longer cloaked by the chaos of my ego...
No longer feeling hemmed by the danger of what if's...
A bit bruised...
Yes...
A bit knocked out...
Possibly, in the next few rounds...
It'll be a damn good fight though...
-Liz
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